Goodbye, Hair.

I did it. I shaved my head (technically, my husband shaved my head). It took 7 months of shedding to finally let it all go. For 6 months, the shedding wasn’t too bad and I could pass as looking normal without a hat. Thankfully, I started off with three times the amount of hair of a normal person. Losing 70% of it wasn’t so bad. But once I switched my chemo this past month, the shedding increased and it was intolerable. I would wake up to a pillow covered in hair, I would take a shower and grab chunks and see more flowing down the shower floor. It was simply a matter of time for the little hair I had left to shed off completely. I had had enough and finally told my husband to shave it all off. I didn’t have the courage to go to a salon or barber to do a clean shave, but my husband did a pretty good job shaving it down to bare fuzz. He took it pretty hard; he was the one insisting that I keep my patchy hair even though I looked like a crazy person.

The feeling is liberating. My hair was pretty heavy and high maintenance, and my mom often teased that my hair looked like an explosion. Three times the amount of a normal person, and it wasn’t curly like my brother’s, it was frizzy like an afro. I think somewhere in my gene I am part African. My minimal effort in calming it down was a daily ordeal and I rarely had good hair days. Now that it’s all gone, my head feels free.

The only problem is, now I look sick. With hair, I didn’t look like I had cancer. Without hair, it’s obvious. Last October, I bought a wig just in case I felt the need to cover my baldness. I could wear it or simply wear a beanie, or abandon both. In any case, bald or not, it doesn’t matter, as long as the chemo’s working and I’m getting better.

Side note: I shaved my hair while my daughter was asleep at night. In the morning I came out with a beanie and told her I cut my hair. She wanted to see and started laughing, wanting to touch my fuzzy head. She took it pretty well, saying, “Silly Mommy. Put on your hat.” Then she woke from her nap in the afternoon and I had my wig on. She was so confused. Haha. Poor child. She has a silly mama.

(wearing my wig)

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